英国伦敦留学社区
London Chinese
【中英文】12个比你更成功的人永远不会告诉你的秘密
palm21(2021/6/25 13:23:43) 点击:250512 回复:0 IP:111.* * *
palm21(2021/6/25 13:23:43) 点击:250512 回复:0 IP:111.* * *
Answer by Vivek Raj on Quora.
They have calm, consistent morning routines.
Too many books and courses on personal success act like we’re robots, and completely overlook the enormous power of our emotions. The less frenzied emotions we have at the start of the day, the less we will have all day. Because when we start the day in a calm, mindful state, it’s easy to focus and get the right things done.
But when we wake up and stress is already upon us – phones ringing, emails and texts dinging, fire alarms going off – you spend the whole day reacting, instead of being proactive. This means you’re not in the driver’s seat working on your priorities – the things that drive success – you’re simply responding to what gets thrown at you, whether it’s important or not.
Try to have the first hour of your day vary as little as possible. A trusted routine can be extremely effective in helping you feel in control and non-reactive, which reduces anxiety and stress, and therefore makes you more mindful and competent. The bottom line is that how you start the day has an enormous effect on your overall effectiveness.
They eliminate all needless busywork.
At some point we all wonder, “Why is it so impossible to get everything done?” But the answer is stunningly simple: We’re doing too many of the wrong things.
Several research studies have shown that people never get more done by blindly working more hours on everything that comes up. Instead, they get more done when they follow careful plans that measure and track key priorities and milestones. So if you want to be more successful and less stressed, don’t ask how to make something more efficient until you’ve first asked, “Do I need to do this at all?”
Simply being able to do something well does not make it the right thing to do. I think this is one of the most common problems with a lot of time-management advice; too often productivity gurus focus on how to do things quickly, but the vast majority of things people do quickly should not be done at all.
If you think about it, it’s actually kind of ironic that we complain we have so little time, and then we prioritize like time is infinite. So do your best to focus on what’s truly important, and not much else.
They do what needs to be done, today!
While everyone else is talking about it, successful people are quietly doing it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It doesn’t matter if you have a genius IQ and a PhD in Quantum Physics, you can’t change anything or make any sort of real-world progress without taking action. There’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it. Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action. It’s as simple as that.
Successful people know that a good plan executed today is better than a perfect plan executed someday. They don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right day” or the “right (impossible) circumstances”, because they know these reactions are based on a fear and nothing more. They take action here and now, today – because that’s where real progress happens.
They gradually turn life’s obstacles around.
Many of the most iconic novels, songs and inventions of all time were inspired by gut-wrenching pain and heartbreak. Therefore, the silver lining of these great challenges is that they were the catalyst to the creation of epic masterpieces.
An emerging field of psychology called Post-Traumatic Growth has suggested that many people are able to use their hardships and traumas for substantial creative and intellectual development. Specifically, researchers have found that trauma can help people grow in the areas of interpersonal relationships, contentment, gratitude, personal strength, and resourcefulness.
When our view of the world as a safe place, or as a certain type of place, has been shattered, we are forced to reboot our perspective on things. We suddenly have the opportunity to look out to the periphery and see things with a new, fresh set of beginner’s eyes, which is very conducive to personal growth and long-term success.
They learn by stretching themselves to their limits.
You learn best when you’re stretching yourself beyond your previous level of comfort.
Sure, getting into a routine is great. “Flow” is great too. But neither is the best way to learn. You want to be stretched to the edge of your ability sometimes. It needs to be hard and uncomfortable. That’s how your brain grows. We learn when we’re in our discomfort zone.
When you’re struggling, that’s when you’re growing stronger and smarter. The more time you spend there, the faster you learn. It’s better to spend an extremely high quality ten minutes growing, than it is to spend a mediocre hour running in place. You want to practice at the point where you are on the edge of your ability, stretching yourself over and over again, making mistakes, stumbling, learning from those mistakes and stretching yourself even farther.
They turn to their intuition when making tough decisions.
Intuition is very real and something that is never wise to ignore, because it comes from deep within your subconscious and is derived from your previous life experiences. If everyone else is telling you “yes” but your gut is telling you otherwise, it’s usually for a good reason. When faced with difficult decisions, seek out all the information you can find, become as knowledgeable as you possibly can, and then listen to your God-given instincts.
Successful people know that trusting your intuition is equivalent to trusting your true self; and the more you trust your true self, the more control you have of making your goals and dreams come true.
They mindfully focus on the positive.
As Shawn Achordescribes in his book The Happiness Advantage, a recent scientific study showed that doctors who are put in a positive mood before making a diagnosis consistently experience significant boosts to their intellectual abilities than doctors in a neutral state, which allows them to make accurate diagnoses almost 20% faster. The same study then shifted to other vocations and found that optimistic salespeople outsell their pessimistic counterparts by over 50%. Students primed to feel happy before taking math tests substantially outperform their neutral peers. So it turns out that our minds are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative, or even neutral, but when they are positive.
Of course, that’s not to say that successful people never get upset, but your effectiveness in all walks of life will fare better if you’re able to mindfully accept and let go of negative emotions, rather than dwelling on them. Think a little less about managing your problems and a little more about managing your mindset. Keep it positive.
They create visual reminders of their long-term goals.
You want to lose weight, but when you’re tired, it’s easy to rationalize that you’ll start exercising and eating right tomorrow. You want to build a more profitable business, but when you’re caught up in the daily grind, it’s easy to just do what’s familiar instead of what’s required for growth. You want to nurture your closest relationships, but when you’re busy, it’s easy to rationalize that you really need to work on that client proposal instead.
Few good things come easy, and when the going gets tough we often take the easy way out – even though the easy way takes us the wrong way.
To combat this, successful people create tangible reminders that pull them back from the brink of their weak impulses. A friend of ours who has paid off almost $100K of debt in the past five years has a copy of his credit card balance taped to his computer monitor; it serves as a constant reminder of the debt he wants to pay off. Another friend keeps a photo of herself when she was 90 pounds heavier on her refrigerator as a reminder of the person she never wants to be again. And another fills his desk with family photos, both because he loves looking at them and because, when work gets really tough, these photos remind him of the people he is ultimately working for.
Think of moments when you are most likely to give in to impulses that take you farther away from your ultimate goals. Then use visual reminders of those goals to interrupt the impulse and keep you on track.
They keep some kind of personal notebook.
Oprah keeps a journal. Eminem keeps a journal. J.K. Rowling keeps a journal.
Successful people track their progress, set goals, reflect, and learn from their mistakes. And they often use some kind notebook to accomplish this. If you want to get somewhere in life, you need a map, and this notebook is that map. You can write down what you did today, what you tried to accomplish, where you made mistakes, and so forth. It’s a place to reflect. It’s a place to capture important thoughts. It’s a place to be able to track where you’ve been and where you intend to go. It’s one of the most underused, yet incredibly effective tools available to the masses.
They have mentors they observe and consult with.
Regardless of what you’retrying to achieve, you cannot do it alone. It can be hard to learn from books. And sometimes the Internet makes it difficult to separate truth from fiction. You need someone who has been where you want to go to show you the ropes – your own personal mentor or coach.
Yes, 10,000 hours of diligent practice can make you an expert, but what makes you dedicate 10,000 hours to something in the first place? The answer is having a great mentor or two. If you study the lives of enough successful people, it becomes obvious that most world-class performers in all fields – athletes, musicians, entrepreneurs, artists, etc. – had incredible mentors, coaches or role models who made the activity of practice worthwhile and rewarding.
And sometimes just observing a mentor works wonders too. When we observe someone we want to learn from and we have a crystal clear idea of what we want to create for ourselves, it unlocks a tremendous amount of motivation. Human beings are socially inclined, and when we get the idea that we want to join some elite circle up above us, that is what really motivates us to achieve greatness. “Look, they did it. I can do it too!” It may sound overly simplistic, but spending time studying people who are great can be one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself.
They welcome honest feedback and criticism.
“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” That’s what Aristotle said. And obviously, he was being facetious. If you are being criticized for doing, saying or thinking something that’s out of the ordinary. Good. That means you’ve taken a stand for something sometime in your life recently. And that’s a huge part of being successful.
Follow in the footsteps of enormously successful people by learning to effectively process the criticism you receive. Hateful and negative criticism should be received, assessed, and then let go, while constructive criticism should be evaluated and acted upon. Solicit feedback from people whose opinions you value – people who have been where you want to go. And remember to be gracious when receiving feedback; when you are, all the people around you will be more likely to give you their support and honest insight in the future. (Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)
They keep their pride in check.
Last but not least…
To admit they made a mistake. To say they are sorry. To know that they can’t possibly know it all. To have big dreams. To admit they owe their success to others too. To poke fun at themselves from time to time. To ask for help when they need it.
To make mistakes and fail. And to try again, willingly. There are no permanent jobs or absolutes on this planet. We are all just interning and exploring here. Learn from everyone, remain humble, and don’t forget to have a good time along the way.
他们会推掉所有不必要的无用工作；他们不断挑战极限，刺激自己学习；他们会创造直观的提醒方式，让自己时刻专注于长期目标。悉心阅读本文阐述的12个成功锦囊，你一定会有所收获，但最重要的是，你得马上行动起来！
维维克•拉杰在Quora上的回答
他们总是以平静的心态迎接崭新的一天。
太多关于个人成功的书籍和课程，似乎将我们看作机器人，完全忽视了人类情感的巨大力量。我们在一天开始的时候，情绪越平静，就越容易在全天保持平静的心态。因为，如果我们在平静的状态中迎接崭新的一天，我们就很容易保持专注，完成该做的事情。
如果我们早上一醒来便面临铺天盖地的压力——电话铃声、电子邮件和短信提示音、火警警报等——你一整天都会处于被动响应的状态，而不是积极主动。这意味着当你想去做那些推动你迈向成功的优先事务时，你却无法掌握主动权，你只是在被动应付别人塞给你的事情，根本没有考虑这些事情是否重要。
每天的第一个小时，尽量不要有太多变化。值得信赖的晨间规划能够极其有效地帮助你找到自我控制的感觉，让你不会陷入被动反应的状态，进而可以减轻紧张与压力，使你更加警觉，更有能力做好自己的工作。务必要记住，你以什么样的状态开始一天的工作，对你的总体工作效率有着巨大的影响。
他们会推掉所有不必要的无用工作。
有时候，我们都会想：“我们为什么不可能将所有事情做完？”答案其实非常简单：我们做了太多错误的事情。
许多研究发现，人们盲目地拿出更多时间去解决不断出现的各种事情，这导致他们从来都不可能完成更多工作。相反，如果他们按照精心制定的计划，测量和跟踪关键优先事项与里程碑事件，工作效率反而会更高。所以，如果你希望自己更加成功，减少压力，不要问如何提高做某件事的效率，首先要问的是“我真的有必要做这件事吗？”
你能把某件事做好，并不意味着这件事该由你去完成。我认为这正是大多数时间管理建议普遍存在的一个问题；工作效率大师们往往只关注如何快速把事情做完，但事实上，在人们快速完成的事务中，大多数根本没有必要去做。
仔细想想，这其实有些讽刺——一方面，我们在抱怨时间太少，另一方面我们在安排工作优先顺序的时候，又似乎有着用不完的时间。因此，尽量专注于真正重要的事情，不要被其他琐事干扰。
他们会做完必须要做的事，在24小时以内！
几乎每个人都在谈论这个问题，但成功人士会将其付诸行动。我曾经说过，现在我还要再说一遍：你是否拥有高智商和量子物理学的博士学位并不重要，因为如果你不行动起来，你在现实世界中便无法改变任何事情或取得任何进步。知与行之间有着巨大差异。没有行动，知识和智慧便毫无用处。就是这么简单。
成功人士知道，今天执行的一个好计划，比未来某天才能执行的完美计划更有价值。他们不会等待“合适的时间”或“合适的日期”或“合适的（不可能的）环境”，因为他们知道这些反应都是源自于恐惧。他们会立刻行动起来——因为只有这样，才会真正有所进步。
他们会逐渐将人生的困境变成优势。
许多最著名的小说、歌曲和发明都是受到了极度痛苦和伤心往事的启发。因此，面对诸多挑战不要灰心，因为它们可能成为史诗巨作诞生的催化剂。
一个名为“创伤后成长”的心理学新兴领域认为，许多人可以利用他们所经历的艰辛和创伤，获得大幅度的创造力与智力发展。研究人员发现，创伤尤其有助于人们发展人际关系、满足感、感恩、个人能力和随机应变能力。
我们可能将这个世界看作是一个安全或者其他类型的地方，一旦这种世界观破碎，我们将不得不重新树立对外界的观点。我们突然有机会像新生儿一样，从崭新的角度来看待外面的世界。而这种经历有利于个人成长和长期成功。
他们不断挑战极限，刺激自己学习。
当你挑战自身极限，走出之前的舒适区时，你才会学到更多。
当然，养成好的习惯很重要。“心流”同样重要。但这两种都不是最好的学习方式。有时候，你需要挑战自己的能力极限。这个过程会有些辛苦和不舒服。但这正是人类大脑成长的方式。只有走出舒适区，我们才会有所得。
你陷入挣扎时，正是你变得更强大和更聪明的时候。你在非舒适区的时间越长，学习速度便越快。效率极高的十分钟，也好过碌碌无为的一个小时。在这种状态下，你可以提高自己的能力，不断挑战自身极限，犯错误，跌倒，从错误中学习，然后继续挑战更高的极限。
在面临艰难决定时，他们相信自己的直觉。
直觉是非常真实的，凡是聪明人都不应忽略它的作用，因为它源自我们潜意识深处，来源于你之前的生活经历。如果所有人都告诉你“是”，但你的直觉却给出了相反的答案，其中肯定有充分的理由。在面对艰难决策的时候，找出你可以找到的所有信息，让自己尽可能全面了解情况，然后让上天给予你的直觉做出决定。
成功人士知道，相信自己的直觉便等于相信真实的自我；你对真实的自我越信任，你便可以更好地控制实现目标与梦想的过程。
他们谨慎地专注于积极面。
肖恩•埃科尔在他的书《快乐竞争力》（The Happiness Advantage）中写道，最近一项科学研究发现，相比处在中性情绪状态的医生，在诊断之前调整为积极情绪的医生，始终能体会到知识能力的显著提高，使他们将准确诊断的时间缩短约20%。研究人员随后对其他职业进行的研究发现，乐观的销售人员业绩比悲观的同行超出50%。在数学考试之前感觉高兴的学生，考试成绩显著高于处在中性情绪的同学。因此，我们的情绪似乎只有在积极的状态下才会发挥最佳的效果，而不是处于消极或中性状态之下。
当然，这并不是说成功人士从来不心烦，但如果你能谨慎地接受和释放负面情绪，而不是深陷其中，你便可以显著提高生活中各方面的效率。花更少的心思去考虑如何解决你的问题，花更多的心思考虑如何管理自己的心态。始终保持积极心态。
他们创造直观的提醒方式，让自己时刻专注于长期目标。
你想减肥，但当你累了的时候，你很容易找到合理的借口，让锻炼以及合理饮食从明天再开始。你想要建立一家盈利的公司，但当你陷入日常琐事的时候，你很容易倾向于做自己熟悉的事情，而不是公司成长需要你去做的事情。你想要培养最亲密的关系，但当你忙碌的时候，你很容易找到理由说自己真的需要解决客户的提案。
美好的事物不会轻易得来，当事情变得棘手，我们往往会选择捷径——即便这会将我们带往错误的方向。
为了避免这种情况发生，成功人士制作了直观的提醒方式，将他们从缺乏判断力的冲动边缘拉回到正常轨道。我们的一位朋友在过去五年还清了约10万美元债务，他在电脑显示器上贴了一张信用卡余额；它可以不断提醒自己需要偿还的债务。另外一位朋友将自己比现在胖90磅的照片贴在冰箱上，提醒自己不能再成为那样的人。还有一个人在桌子里装满家人的照片，一方面因为他喜欢不时翻看这些照片，另一方面，当工作变得棘手的时候，这些照片可以提醒他，他在为谁努力工作。
你在什么时候最有可能屈服于内心的冲动，脱离实现终极目标的道路？找出这样的时刻，然后用可视化的提醒方式来打断这种冲动，让你在实现目标的道路上继续走下去。
他们会写日记。
奥普拉写日记。阿姆写日记。J•K•罗琳也写日记。
成功人士都会跟踪他们的进度，制定目标，反思自己的错误并从中总结经验教训。他们通常会将这些工作放在一本笔记本当中。在生活当中，如果你想去某个地方，你需要一张地图，这本笔记便是你成功路上的地图。你可以记录自己今天做了什么，你打算实现什么目标，你犯过什么错误等等。你可以在这里自我反思，可以记录重要的想法，还可以跟踪你已经实现和计划实现的目标。日记是对普通大众极为有效，但未必得到最充分利用的工具之一。
他们会为自己找一位言传身教，答疑解惑的导师。
不论你想实现什么目标，都不可能只靠自己去完成。从书本中学习是一个艰难的过程。有时候，互联网让我们很难区分真相与谎言。你需要有一位前辈来告诉你一些窍门——他可以是你的良师益友或教练。
10,000个小时的勤奋练习可以让你成为专家，但是什么让你将10,000个小时投入到某件事情上？那就是一两位优秀的导师。如果你研究过足够成功的人的生活，你会发现，在所有领域最优秀的人——运动员、音乐家、创业者、艺术家等——都有非凡的导师、教练或榜样，他们让练习这件事变得很有价值，充满意义。
有时候，仅仅通过观察导师也能带来奇迹。我们在观察一个想要学习的榜样时，我们十分清楚自己想要成为什么样的人，这时候你便会爆发出惊人的积极性。人类天生愿意进行社交，当我们希望加入一个高高在上的精英圈子的时候，这种想法便会推动我们实现了不起的成就。“看，他们做到了。我也能做到！”虽然这听起来有些过于简单，但拿出时间研究优秀的人，将是你为自己做的最有价值的一件事。
他们欢迎真诚的反馈与批评。
亚里士多德说过，“要免受批评，就别说话，别做事，别成器。”这是一种戏谑的说法。如果你因为说话、做事或思考一些不同寻常的事情而遭到批评，这是好事。这意味着你在最近的某个时刻对某件事表明了立场。而这是成功很重要的一部分。
追随成功人士的脚步，学会如何有效处理批评。对于充满恶意的负面批评，你应该在收到之后进行评估，然后将其抛到脑后，而对于建设性意见，你应该在评估之后采取行动。向你重视的人——那些曾经有过与你类似遭遇的人——寻求反馈。记住，要以亲切的态度接受反馈；这样，你周围的人在未来才更有可能给你提供支持和诚实的见解。
他们会控制自己的骄傲。
最后但并非最不重要的一条……
承认自己错了，说声抱歉。深知自己不可能无所不知。树立一个伟大的梦想。承认自己的成功也要归功于其他人。不时嘲弄自己。在有必要的时候寻求帮助。
经历错误和失败。心甘情愿地再次尝试。这个世界上不存在永恒的职业或绝对真理。我们都在摸索着前进。向每个人学习，保持谦逊，不要忘记享受在路上的美好时光。
They have calm, consistent morning routines.
Too many books and courses on personal success act like we’re robots, and completely overlook the enormous power of our emotions. The less frenzied emotions we have at the start of the day, the less we will have all day. Because when we start the day in a calm, mindful state, it’s easy to focus and get the right things done.
But when we wake up and stress is already upon us – phones ringing, emails and texts dinging, fire alarms going off – you spend the whole day reacting, instead of being proactive. This means you’re not in the driver’s seat working on your priorities – the things that drive success – you’re simply responding to what gets thrown at you, whether it’s important or not.
Try to have the first hour of your day vary as little as possible. A trusted routine can be extremely effective in helping you feel in control and non-reactive, which reduces anxiety and stress, and therefore makes you more mindful and competent. The bottom line is that how you start the day has an enormous effect on your overall effectiveness.
They eliminate all needless busywork.
At some point we all wonder, “Why is it so impossible to get everything done?” But the answer is stunningly simple: We’re doing too many of the wrong things.
Several research studies have shown that people never get more done by blindly working more hours on everything that comes up. Instead, they get more done when they follow careful plans that measure and track key priorities and milestones. So if you want to be more successful and less stressed, don’t ask how to make something more efficient until you’ve first asked, “Do I need to do this at all?”
Simply being able to do something well does not make it the right thing to do. I think this is one of the most common problems with a lot of time-management advice; too often productivity gurus focus on how to do things quickly, but the vast majority of things people do quickly should not be done at all.
If you think about it, it’s actually kind of ironic that we complain we have so little time, and then we prioritize like time is infinite. So do your best to focus on what’s truly important, and not much else.
They do what needs to be done, today!
While everyone else is talking about it, successful people are quietly doing it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It doesn’t matter if you have a genius IQ and a PhD in Quantum Physics, you can’t change anything or make any sort of real-world progress without taking action. There’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it. Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action. It’s as simple as that.
Successful people know that a good plan executed today is better than a perfect plan executed someday. They don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right day” or the “right (impossible) circumstances”, because they know these reactions are based on a fear and nothing more. They take action here and now, today – because that’s where real progress happens.
They gradually turn life’s obstacles around.
Many of the most iconic novels, songs and inventions of all time were inspired by gut-wrenching pain and heartbreak. Therefore, the silver lining of these great challenges is that they were the catalyst to the creation of epic masterpieces.
An emerging field of psychology called Post-Traumatic Growth has suggested that many people are able to use their hardships and traumas for substantial creative and intellectual development. Specifically, researchers have found that trauma can help people grow in the areas of interpersonal relationships, contentment, gratitude, personal strength, and resourcefulness.
When our view of the world as a safe place, or as a certain type of place, has been shattered, we are forced to reboot our perspective on things. We suddenly have the opportunity to look out to the periphery and see things with a new, fresh set of beginner’s eyes, which is very conducive to personal growth and long-term success.
They learn by stretching themselves to their limits.
You learn best when you’re stretching yourself beyond your previous level of comfort.
Sure, getting into a routine is great. “Flow” is great too. But neither is the best way to learn. You want to be stretched to the edge of your ability sometimes. It needs to be hard and uncomfortable. That’s how your brain grows. We learn when we’re in our discomfort zone.
When you’re struggling, that’s when you’re growing stronger and smarter. The more time you spend there, the faster you learn. It’s better to spend an extremely high quality ten minutes growing, than it is to spend a mediocre hour running in place. You want to practice at the point where you are on the edge of your ability, stretching yourself over and over again, making mistakes, stumbling, learning from those mistakes and stretching yourself even farther.
They turn to their intuition when making tough decisions.
Intuition is very real and something that is never wise to ignore, because it comes from deep within your subconscious and is derived from your previous life experiences. If everyone else is telling you “yes” but your gut is telling you otherwise, it’s usually for a good reason. When faced with difficult decisions, seek out all the information you can find, become as knowledgeable as you possibly can, and then listen to your God-given instincts.
Successful people know that trusting your intuition is equivalent to trusting your true self; and the more you trust your true self, the more control you have of making your goals and dreams come true.
They mindfully focus on the positive.
As Shawn Achordescribes in his book The Happiness Advantage, a recent scientific study showed that doctors who are put in a positive mood before making a diagnosis consistently experience significant boosts to their intellectual abilities than doctors in a neutral state, which allows them to make accurate diagnoses almost 20% faster. The same study then shifted to other vocations and found that optimistic salespeople outsell their pessimistic counterparts by over 50%. Students primed to feel happy before taking math tests substantially outperform their neutral peers. So it turns out that our minds are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative, or even neutral, but when they are positive.
Of course, that’s not to say that successful people never get upset, but your effectiveness in all walks of life will fare better if you’re able to mindfully accept and let go of negative emotions, rather than dwelling on them. Think a little less about managing your problems and a little more about managing your mindset. Keep it positive.
They create visual reminders of their long-term goals.
You want to lose weight, but when you’re tired, it’s easy to rationalize that you’ll start exercising and eating right tomorrow. You want to build a more profitable business, but when you’re caught up in the daily grind, it’s easy to just do what’s familiar instead of what’s required for growth. You want to nurture your closest relationships, but when you’re busy, it’s easy to rationalize that you really need to work on that client proposal instead.
Few good things come easy, and when the going gets tough we often take the easy way out – even though the easy way takes us the wrong way.
To combat this, successful people create tangible reminders that pull them back from the brink of their weak impulses. A friend of ours who has paid off almost $100K of debt in the past five years has a copy of his credit card balance taped to his computer monitor; it serves as a constant reminder of the debt he wants to pay off. Another friend keeps a photo of herself when she was 90 pounds heavier on her refrigerator as a reminder of the person she never wants to be again. And another fills his desk with family photos, both because he loves looking at them and because, when work gets really tough, these photos remind him of the people he is ultimately working for.
Think of moments when you are most likely to give in to impulses that take you farther away from your ultimate goals. Then use visual reminders of those goals to interrupt the impulse and keep you on track.
They keep some kind of personal notebook.
Oprah keeps a journal. Eminem keeps a journal. J.K. Rowling keeps a journal.
Successful people track their progress, set goals, reflect, and learn from their mistakes. And they often use some kind notebook to accomplish this. If you want to get somewhere in life, you need a map, and this notebook is that map. You can write down what you did today, what you tried to accomplish, where you made mistakes, and so forth. It’s a place to reflect. It’s a place to capture important thoughts. It’s a place to be able to track where you’ve been and where you intend to go. It’s one of the most underused, yet incredibly effective tools available to the masses.
They have mentors they observe and consult with.
Regardless of what you’retrying to achieve, you cannot do it alone. It can be hard to learn from books. And sometimes the Internet makes it difficult to separate truth from fiction. You need someone who has been where you want to go to show you the ropes – your own personal mentor or coach.
Yes, 10,000 hours of diligent practice can make you an expert, but what makes you dedicate 10,000 hours to something in the first place? The answer is having a great mentor or two. If you study the lives of enough successful people, it becomes obvious that most world-class performers in all fields – athletes, musicians, entrepreneurs, artists, etc. – had incredible mentors, coaches or role models who made the activity of practice worthwhile and rewarding.
And sometimes just observing a mentor works wonders too. When we observe someone we want to learn from and we have a crystal clear idea of what we want to create for ourselves, it unlocks a tremendous amount of motivation. Human beings are socially inclined, and when we get the idea that we want to join some elite circle up above us, that is what really motivates us to achieve greatness. “Look, they did it. I can do it too!” It may sound overly simplistic, but spending time studying people who are great can be one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself.
They welcome honest feedback and criticism.
“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” That’s what Aristotle said. And obviously, he was being facetious. If you are being criticized for doing, saying or thinking something that’s out of the ordinary. Good. That means you’ve taken a stand for something sometime in your life recently. And that’s a huge part of being successful.
Follow in the footsteps of enormously successful people by learning to effectively process the criticism you receive. Hateful and negative criticism should be received, assessed, and then let go, while constructive criticism should be evaluated and acted upon. Solicit feedback from people whose opinions you value – people who have been where you want to go. And remember to be gracious when receiving feedback; when you are, all the people around you will be more likely to give you their support and honest insight in the future. (Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)
They keep their pride in check.
Last but not least…
To admit they made a mistake. To say they are sorry. To know that they can’t possibly know it all. To have big dreams. To admit they owe their success to others too. To poke fun at themselves from time to time. To ask for help when they need it.
To make mistakes and fail. And to try again, willingly. There are no permanent jobs or absolutes on this planet. We are all just interning and exploring here. Learn from everyone, remain humble, and don’t forget to have a good time along the way.
他们会推掉所有不必要的无用工作；他们不断挑战极限，刺激自己学习；他们会创造直观的提醒方式，让自己时刻专注于长期目标。悉心阅读本文阐述的12个成功锦囊，你一定会有所收获，但最重要的是，你得马上行动起来！
维维克•拉杰在Quora上的回答
他们总是以平静的心态迎接崭新的一天。
太多关于个人成功的书籍和课程，似乎将我们看作机器人，完全忽视了人类情感的巨大力量。我们在一天开始的时候，情绪越平静，就越容易在全天保持平静的心态。因为，如果我们在平静的状态中迎接崭新的一天，我们就很容易保持专注，完成该做的事情。
如果我们早上一醒来便面临铺天盖地的压力——电话铃声、电子邮件和短信提示音、火警警报等——你一整天都会处于被动响应的状态，而不是积极主动。这意味着当你想去做那些推动你迈向成功的优先事务时，你却无法掌握主动权，你只是在被动应付别人塞给你的事情，根本没有考虑这些事情是否重要。
每天的第一个小时，尽量不要有太多变化。值得信赖的晨间规划能够极其有效地帮助你找到自我控制的感觉，让你不会陷入被动反应的状态，进而可以减轻紧张与压力，使你更加警觉，更有能力做好自己的工作。务必要记住，你以什么样的状态开始一天的工作，对你的总体工作效率有着巨大的影响。
他们会推掉所有不必要的无用工作。
有时候，我们都会想：“我们为什么不可能将所有事情做完？”答案其实非常简单：我们做了太多错误的事情。
许多研究发现，人们盲目地拿出更多时间去解决不断出现的各种事情，这导致他们从来都不可能完成更多工作。相反，如果他们按照精心制定的计划，测量和跟踪关键优先事项与里程碑事件，工作效率反而会更高。所以，如果你希望自己更加成功，减少压力，不要问如何提高做某件事的效率，首先要问的是“我真的有必要做这件事吗？”
你能把某件事做好，并不意味着这件事该由你去完成。我认为这正是大多数时间管理建议普遍存在的一个问题；工作效率大师们往往只关注如何快速把事情做完，但事实上，在人们快速完成的事务中，大多数根本没有必要去做。
仔细想想，这其实有些讽刺——一方面，我们在抱怨时间太少，另一方面我们在安排工作优先顺序的时候，又似乎有着用不完的时间。因此，尽量专注于真正重要的事情，不要被其他琐事干扰。
他们会做完必须要做的事，在24小时以内！
几乎每个人都在谈论这个问题，但成功人士会将其付诸行动。我曾经说过，现在我还要再说一遍：你是否拥有高智商和量子物理学的博士学位并不重要，因为如果你不行动起来，你在现实世界中便无法改变任何事情或取得任何进步。知与行之间有着巨大差异。没有行动，知识和智慧便毫无用处。就是这么简单。
成功人士知道，今天执行的一个好计划，比未来某天才能执行的完美计划更有价值。他们不会等待“合适的时间”或“合适的日期”或“合适的（不可能的）环境”，因为他们知道这些反应都是源自于恐惧。他们会立刻行动起来——因为只有这样，才会真正有所进步。
他们会逐渐将人生的困境变成优势。
许多最著名的小说、歌曲和发明都是受到了极度痛苦和伤心往事的启发。因此，面对诸多挑战不要灰心，因为它们可能成为史诗巨作诞生的催化剂。
一个名为“创伤后成长”的心理学新兴领域认为，许多人可以利用他们所经历的艰辛和创伤，获得大幅度的创造力与智力发展。研究人员发现，创伤尤其有助于人们发展人际关系、满足感、感恩、个人能力和随机应变能力。
我们可能将这个世界看作是一个安全或者其他类型的地方，一旦这种世界观破碎，我们将不得不重新树立对外界的观点。我们突然有机会像新生儿一样，从崭新的角度来看待外面的世界。而这种经历有利于个人成长和长期成功。
他们不断挑战极限，刺激自己学习。
当你挑战自身极限，走出之前的舒适区时，你才会学到更多。
当然，养成好的习惯很重要。“心流”同样重要。但这两种都不是最好的学习方式。有时候，你需要挑战自己的能力极限。这个过程会有些辛苦和不舒服。但这正是人类大脑成长的方式。只有走出舒适区，我们才会有所得。
你陷入挣扎时，正是你变得更强大和更聪明的时候。你在非舒适区的时间越长，学习速度便越快。效率极高的十分钟，也好过碌碌无为的一个小时。在这种状态下，你可以提高自己的能力，不断挑战自身极限，犯错误，跌倒，从错误中学习，然后继续挑战更高的极限。
在面临艰难决定时，他们相信自己的直觉。
直觉是非常真实的，凡是聪明人都不应忽略它的作用，因为它源自我们潜意识深处，来源于你之前的生活经历。如果所有人都告诉你“是”，但你的直觉却给出了相反的答案，其中肯定有充分的理由。在面对艰难决策的时候，找出你可以找到的所有信息，让自己尽可能全面了解情况，然后让上天给予你的直觉做出决定。
成功人士知道，相信自己的直觉便等于相信真实的自我；你对真实的自我越信任，你便可以更好地控制实现目标与梦想的过程。
他们谨慎地专注于积极面。
肖恩•埃科尔在他的书《快乐竞争力》（The Happiness Advantage）中写道，最近一项科学研究发现，相比处在中性情绪状态的医生，在诊断之前调整为积极情绪的医生，始终能体会到知识能力的显著提高，使他们将准确诊断的时间缩短约20%。研究人员随后对其他职业进行的研究发现，乐观的销售人员业绩比悲观的同行超出50%。在数学考试之前感觉高兴的学生，考试成绩显著高于处在中性情绪的同学。因此，我们的情绪似乎只有在积极的状态下才会发挥最佳的效果，而不是处于消极或中性状态之下。
当然，这并不是说成功人士从来不心烦，但如果你能谨慎地接受和释放负面情绪，而不是深陷其中，你便可以显著提高生活中各方面的效率。花更少的心思去考虑如何解决你的问题，花更多的心思考虑如何管理自己的心态。始终保持积极心态。
他们创造直观的提醒方式，让自己时刻专注于长期目标。
你想减肥，但当你累了的时候，你很容易找到合理的借口，让锻炼以及合理饮食从明天再开始。你想要建立一家盈利的公司，但当你陷入日常琐事的时候，你很容易倾向于做自己熟悉的事情，而不是公司成长需要你去做的事情。你想要培养最亲密的关系，但当你忙碌的时候，你很容易找到理由说自己真的需要解决客户的提案。
美好的事物不会轻易得来，当事情变得棘手，我们往往会选择捷径——即便这会将我们带往错误的方向。
为了避免这种情况发生，成功人士制作了直观的提醒方式，将他们从缺乏判断力的冲动边缘拉回到正常轨道。我们的一位朋友在过去五年还清了约10万美元债务，他在电脑显示器上贴了一张信用卡余额；它可以不断提醒自己需要偿还的债务。另外一位朋友将自己比现在胖90磅的照片贴在冰箱上，提醒自己不能再成为那样的人。还有一个人在桌子里装满家人的照片，一方面因为他喜欢不时翻看这些照片，另一方面，当工作变得棘手的时候，这些照片可以提醒他，他在为谁努力工作。
你在什么时候最有可能屈服于内心的冲动，脱离实现终极目标的道路？找出这样的时刻，然后用可视化的提醒方式来打断这种冲动，让你在实现目标的道路上继续走下去。
他们会写日记。
奥普拉写日记。阿姆写日记。J•K•罗琳也写日记。
成功人士都会跟踪他们的进度，制定目标，反思自己的错误并从中总结经验教训。他们通常会将这些工作放在一本笔记本当中。在生活当中，如果你想去某个地方，你需要一张地图，这本笔记便是你成功路上的地图。你可以记录自己今天做了什么，你打算实现什么目标，你犯过什么错误等等。你可以在这里自我反思，可以记录重要的想法，还可以跟踪你已经实现和计划实现的目标。日记是对普通大众极为有效，但未必得到最充分利用的工具之一。
他们会为自己找一位言传身教，答疑解惑的导师。
不论你想实现什么目标，都不可能只靠自己去完成。从书本中学习是一个艰难的过程。有时候，互联网让我们很难区分真相与谎言。你需要有一位前辈来告诉你一些窍门——他可以是你的良师益友或教练。
10,000个小时的勤奋练习可以让你成为专家，但是什么让你将10,000个小时投入到某件事情上？那就是一两位优秀的导师。如果你研究过足够成功的人的生活，你会发现，在所有领域最优秀的人——运动员、音乐家、创业者、艺术家等——都有非凡的导师、教练或榜样，他们让练习这件事变得很有价值，充满意义。
有时候，仅仅通过观察导师也能带来奇迹。我们在观察一个想要学习的榜样时，我们十分清楚自己想要成为什么样的人，这时候你便会爆发出惊人的积极性。人类天生愿意进行社交，当我们希望加入一个高高在上的精英圈子的时候，这种想法便会推动我们实现了不起的成就。“看，他们做到了。我也能做到！”虽然这听起来有些过于简单，但拿出时间研究优秀的人，将是你为自己做的最有价值的一件事。
他们欢迎真诚的反馈与批评。
亚里士多德说过，“要免受批评，就别说话，别做事，别成器。”这是一种戏谑的说法。如果你因为说话、做事或思考一些不同寻常的事情而遭到批评，这是好事。这意味着你在最近的某个时刻对某件事表明了立场。而这是成功很重要的一部分。
追随成功人士的脚步，学会如何有效处理批评。对于充满恶意的负面批评，你应该在收到之后进行评估，然后将其抛到脑后，而对于建设性意见，你应该在评估之后采取行动。向你重视的人——那些曾经有过与你类似遭遇的人——寻求反馈。记住，要以亲切的态度接受反馈；这样，你周围的人在未来才更有可能给你提供支持和诚实的见解。
他们会控制自己的骄傲。
最后但并非最不重要的一条……
承认自己错了，说声抱歉。深知自己不可能无所不知。树立一个伟大的梦想。承认自己的成功也要归功于其他人。不时嘲弄自己。在有必要的时候寻求帮助。
经历错误和失败。心甘情愿地再次尝试。这个世界上不存在永恒的职业或绝对真理。我们都在摸索着前进。向每个人学习，保持谦逊，不要忘记享受在路上的美好时光。
